Numpty

It is my job as hound and boss of this house to greet people as they enter my domain - mainly to snuffle at their pockets for anything edible or in case the phantom squirrel may try and sneak in behind them.......

Our sofa is by the front door -where else would it be the room is soooooo small !- which means I can stand on in to look out of the window, knocking everything off the window sill accidently-on -purpose......just to annoy the Twiggs ( oh and get to mess all the throws Ocd woman has neatly arranged there): and when the front door is opened I am nearly at eyeball level with who ever is stood on the step, which is so funny when its someone new at the door who doesnt know me : they think I am a really really tall giant dog...( rawr !)

I like to stand with my legs on the arm of the sofa so when Twiggs or TBG comes in I am at licky level so I can try and kiss them, before they can smell what ive had for tea.

I also like to launch myself at the sofa, the trick is to start running at the end of the kitchen to get enough speed up at try to get from the dining room on to the sofa without touching the living room carpet, I love the noise I make as I splat on the sofa........ I like the noise TGB makes when I do it also........it sounds like "Ohforfourfootsnake Nellie"

I like the feeling of movement as I land and the sofa skids towards the window............like snowboarding- freestyle, luckilly they have had the foresight to have double glazing...........

At about 17.10 I know Twiggs is due home as I know how long Shannon has been home by order of events:

How long it takes for her to let me out for a tinkle, to check whats in the fridge & sigh, get homework out of bag & sigh,.put homework back into bag & sigh ....Turn on P.C .

Pretty clever............no not really its because Twiggs rings Shannon on her way home from the station to get a Nellie update before she gets in..so she can prepare herself.

So this is my cue to leap on the sofa spy out of the window and jump on Twiggs when she opens the door and let her know just how empty my belly is and that im really hungry and if im not fed in 2 mins flat I will pass out.failing that I will vomit bile from my empty tummy on her carpet:

Some numpty had polished the sofa: although they ( we wont mention any names but how can someone who never ever polishes buy sofa wipes and use them ???) denied polishing the arm rests as apparently my head was there at the time and they didnt want to disturb me............hhmmmmmmmm !

My foot slipped and carried on downwards and my dew claw went the other way...ouch ouch ouch.........................................................................