I am aware that I am of the attractive variety of hound...no its not me being vain ( ha, as if - its inbreed in us Greyhounds..ok in my case I was blessed with more than some)..people often tell me that I am a rather attractive hound and to phrase TBG " Such a pretty girl ....." ( I wont embarrass him buy saying what else he says to me ........................... I am rather slim and lithe and very graceful ( ok I wont mention about walking into things whilst out for walkies) I would quite easily knock spots off the likes of Kate Moss no contest... However modest I am about the beauty that has been bestowed upon me...I don't recall telling Twiggs that she could draw me....now shes no Monet..more Bash Street Kids...she has taken to drawing me in cartoon form and making models of me again in cartoon form... I am rather hurt and offended that she has overlooked this graceful model quality that I possess and choose to portray me in the same style as Snoopy or Goofy.....lets hope she gets better and stops making models and drawing like a pre-school child and can refine her work to show me in my true light....... Either that or I eat her pencil case
Ok the worse swear word I have ever heard is Healthy eating...grrrrr even the thought of it makes me shudder all the way to the very end of my slinky tail..... Well thats whats happening in our house......... Gone are all the chances of a spare crisp or chocolate being dropped ( well never ever with Twiggs as shes way too greedy- so no change there then) ready to be hooverd up by yours truly and her amazing vacuuming snout. No left overs apart from vegetables ( which incidentally much to my disgust are not place immediately in my bowl..no they are put to one side to mixed in with my next meal) nope no chance of any left overs as TBG is always so hungry and never seems to sure when he will get fed next ( now he knows how it feels ) As soon as Twiggs gets in from work TBG meets her at the door and all she hears is " can I have my tea ? Whatsfortea ? IsitKebab ? sayitsKebab please..canihaveteanow please ?..without taking a breath...and she laughs at him..now If I do that ( which I have to admit I do tend to do every night..They dont find that funny.....and I get made to go it the garden and do my kangaroo impersonation ( have a wee-wee)..I dont see her sending upstairs to empty his bladder....Odd that. They are losing weight..bad bad thing..they have more energy bad bad lets go for more walkies..bad thing....they don't go to the beer church as much..bad bad thing. When I snuggle on the sofa Tbg has lost his Big belly cushion and isnt anywhere near as squishy any more...... I may have to buy him one of those pretend bellies that fathers to be sometimes wear so I can squish up next to him in comfort..or just sit on Twiggs..theres loads of snuggillyness left on that one.
Ok so we all know that the big white cuboardy thing belongs to me, no one else but me.That includes every thing in in also ( that is apart from cucumber and those yacky red tomatoey things that belong to Twiggs and that nasty rash cream belonging to the Albino emo who smothers herself in should a single ray of sunshine ever caress the pasty skin that covers that sullen body). I know that is also where the cow juice lives which I adore, although they have taken to calling it moo moo , cow and bovine stuff and spelling it out M-I-L-K so I dont hound them the minute they open the cavern of loveliness to get it out, but I know what they are on about. There are lots a good things kept in the Nellie Temple and only once more I wish I had pose able thumbs so i could open that door ( I would only have agood mooch inside and really honestly I wouldn't snaffle everything in there. Best of all there are YOGURTS !!!!!! This is amber nectar created for the goddess Nellie...I so love yogurt and its low fat ( well in our house it is) and its full of moo juice and calcium which is superb for my bones......I have a certain brand which I adore most of all as the tub is fat and squat and I am able to get my snout right in there...some times TBG buys huge pots which although I can get my whole head in they scare me as I cant breath once my face is encased in the plastic pot. Muller lights....licking the lid of life...although I am NOT allowed to lick the lid in case it "Cuts" my big floppy tongue...more like that's TBG's favourite bit. Cherry that is the best although Twiggs is still sulking as they have withdrawn the chocolate one....maybe one day I may get the change to try that.,,although if its Twiggs that's eating it I doubt very much she would save me any. Now my Muller addiction has gotten so bad TBG has to sneak it out of the Food tardis, with the yogurt in his pocket and sneak past me....... Now Im really not that silly Ive seen Twiggs and its rather obvious what the bulge in his trousers isnt..so it means its yogurt time ....Hurraaaaahhhhh......... Normally I am rather good and will wait ...but I just cant....which is normally met with " Bugger off nellie".........I wait all twitchy like an addict until its mine all mine ( that's unless he has put in the freezer...which was rather unpleasant the first time I yoinked my nose in the tub...not only did I have frost bite I nearly broke my snout !!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I may get Twiggs to write to these yogurt geniuses and request a special Nellie flavoured one...... mmmmmmmmmm cheese ?.... mmmmmmmmmm chicken ?..........beer.....? or next doors cats ???? Maybe we could ask for a multi pack ?