Monday, 19 September 2011


So he has decided to come home then..... so no big good bye, a cuddle for ole bum face and a pat on the head for me- hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, rather the wrong way round me thinks.
TBG has just been to Russia ( I would say wher- but i cant spell it ( its not like he's a spy or summat and I cant say- the lummox isnt that clever !! )
So anyhooo I was left at home with the mardy one and the smelly one- JOY.
Twiggs seems to think my name is.. Getoutofthe kitchen and forcrapssakegetoutbeforeispillsummatoneyouGETOUTOUTOUT..... not a very nice name..I was only seeing if the cheese fairy had left anything for me- its not my fault they have a long galley kitchen is it ????
She took me for walks ( joy I must remember to put her on my xmas list for that, especially a big thanks for the walk in the rain !!)
The smelly one ( was Emo, then emoooooo - emotional cow- then pinkmoo- for the pink hair) Now she has green hair- a bit like Grotbags, so I shall call her the Smelly one as she would seem to take more baths than me, but doesnt seem to use soap somehow... Anyway the smelly one has taken over the dining room which is my domain, she takes over my sofa ( yes the one I had for my birthday) then has the cheek to moan when I sit next to her and Blow Nellie kisses with my bottom :) and she gets really annoyed when I stick my snout in front ofher lap top screen to have a gander what her and her stinky mates are putting on twitter/facebook/bebooooo and stuff.... amazing when they see one another they grunt and dont really speak then rush home to " Chat" on line all night.. I really like butting the screen and leaving Nellie snot on it :)
So i was left with these two bundles of joy all week wondering where the heck TBG had got to.... then ah-ha I knew he was due back as Twiggs was no longer cooking cabbage and broccoli but a proper meal and actually doing house work and making The Smelly one clear her stuff up.
Later than said and one burnt dinner ( probably tasted better) later.. TBG is home- HURRRAAAH ! mad wags and face licks all round- i know not very dignified but hey I was over come in case he'd brought me some duty free Bonios or summat... No nothing !!! No even one of those cool Rushski hats with the furry ear flaps... as well at least he's brought him self home to rescue me from a life of boredom with the mardy ones.. i LOVE YOU TBG x x xx

Make My Own NellieCache

As you may have gathered..I am not really too keen on this Nelliecaching thinghy they have been up to- by all means those two fools can go out on their bikes ( that reminds me Twiggs needs a new wide load sticker for her arse- I pity the poor road user stuck behind that mountainous glob of lard she calls her bottom)..
They drag me out saying " Ooooh look shes all excited and barky and happy, Oh look she wants to come.. no its more the fact I am happy they are going out and will leave this 45 MPH couch potato at home to snooze..the only time I get excited is when I know they are going to the beer church and I can snaffle for porky puffs etc.
So I do the whole running off and hiding at my bed looking at the wall - i don't have peripheral vison so if i cant see them they don't exist.. ITS NOT A GAME !!!! It means I dont want to go out and traipse for hours playing neardy hide and seek with a clown that hasnt written the clues down correctly- thus meaning lots of hanging about and bum faces from Twiggs.....

I have thought how ever of sneaking out and making my own Nellie Cache which involves a trip to local joke shop to buy some fake doggy do-do...( or I could just leave one of my own ( Like TBG does to bake off and form a skin) then be gluing this to a top of a Tupperware container and burying the container with just the do-do sticking out amongst some leaves... Hmmmmmmmmmm i wonder if anyone would ever find it ????

Saturday, 13 August 2011

GPS ( Greyhound Peeing System)- Nelliecaching

TBG has purchased a GPS as he has gotten into Geocaching- described as a Treasure hunt -looking for Tupperware using Million dollar equipment. We call it Nelliecaching as I always get dragged along * whoop-whoop* ( that was sarcasm- in case you missed that).

Who needs to pinpoint where you are when you have me ??????
Every time we go on a walk I always have at least a zillion wee-wee's along the way- so if we did get lost- I would know the way back using Greyhound Peeing System- simple really.
Anyway this involves TBG sitting for yonks on his lap top looking at Nelliecaching sites then transferring the details to his little black book.... then choosing where to go.
I am dragged along - yes dragged.. some of these places I am most certain he could use the car for..but Oh no Captain beefy legs has to walk everywhere.
Pinkmoo was given control of The GPS - meaning she got to hold my lead- as if TBG would give up his new toy !!!!!!!.
So anyway we walk walk walk walk- then yup walk some more looking at its toy until we sort of get to the right spot maybe ( well with in 200 meters !) then out comes the black book with the clues on , for example Behind a tree- DUH, we are in a freaking forest- this may take some time then !!!!!!) so on this instance in the rain we are hunting for the cache hidden behind a tree in a forest in the rain.. Twiggs & pinkmoo grow weary after unearthing several worms, dead badgers and sleeping tramps- Oh no Ole Bear Grylls is well into it all and keeps getting the book of clues out in case the clue has magically changed since last time twiggs had to drag it out of the knapsack - word of warning when on laptop looking it up please check to make sure you have written the clues down correctly or that the cache has been maintained and not in need of replacing etc..or the next nellie cache may be a 6foot 4 bald Brummie buried in the woods under a dead badger

Yup ...its Wales again

Yep... the house is in disarray...the camping gear is spread everywhere..... Twiggs is twitching like Billy-o at the mess, TBG is fretting about The Emo ( now to be called Pinkmoo as its dyed its hair bright pink- or so i am told- she still smells the same
* Ewwwwwww*)fretting about how much stuff Pinkmoo and Twiggs plan to take with them as the Damper van was sold last year........and will he get it all in the car ? He did suggest taking small amounts and washing as they went- I think the look Twiggs gave him soon put paid to that......
Quite sad aboutThe Damper van going as it means less floor space for me to loll on and I will have to sit next to stinky Pinkmoo on the journey ( the bonus being..she ALWAYS has food :)

I thought it impolite to ask as to where we were going- well its obvious really- bloomin Wales & not nice flat south Wales either..North Wales- land of the mountains...If I was meant to climb mountains I would be a billy-goat not a sleepy ole Greyhound..........

Journey there was O.K I had my holiday hat on- although really in hind sight it should have been a sou'wester and maybes an oilskin too or just a wetsuit- judging by previous years.
And I only broke wind once- not bad going for me.
They got the tent up in record time and twiggs only got the bum face on once- although these days its hard to tell whens shes not got it on ( well she is knocking on a bit). I claimed my room and my bed first which is only polite after all I am the youngest...... It did happen to be TBG and Twiggs room - hey I wasn't going in Pinkmoos room, give me some credit please.....
We had sunshine- I did consider ringing the Guinness book of records as we had been there over two hours and had NO rain... ....... We headed off to town- I didnt mind walking , its only two miles, its down hill and thats where the Ice cream man lives..nom nom nom... rains coats around their waists off we set with TBG wanting a pint and to try his GPS out.......