Monday, 19 September 2011


So he has decided to come home then..... so no big good bye, a cuddle for ole bum face and a pat on the head for me- hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, rather the wrong way round me thinks.
TBG has just been to Russia ( I would say wher- but i cant spell it ( its not like he's a spy or summat and I cant say- the lummox isnt that clever !! )
So anyhooo I was left at home with the mardy one and the smelly one- JOY.
Twiggs seems to think my name is.. Getoutofthe kitchen and forcrapssakegetoutbeforeispillsummatoneyouGETOUTOUTOUT..... not a very nice name..I was only seeing if the cheese fairy had left anything for me- its not my fault they have a long galley kitchen is it ????
She took me for walks ( joy I must remember to put her on my xmas list for that, especially a big thanks for the walk in the rain !!)
The smelly one ( was Emo, then emoooooo - emotional cow- then pinkmoo- for the pink hair) Now she has green hair- a bit like Grotbags, so I shall call her the Smelly one as she would seem to take more baths than me, but doesnt seem to use soap somehow... Anyway the smelly one has taken over the dining room which is my domain, she takes over my sofa ( yes the one I had for my birthday) then has the cheek to moan when I sit next to her and Blow Nellie kisses with my bottom :) and she gets really annoyed when I stick my snout in front ofher lap top screen to have a gander what her and her stinky mates are putting on twitter/facebook/bebooooo and stuff.... amazing when they see one another they grunt and dont really speak then rush home to " Chat" on line all night.. I really like butting the screen and leaving Nellie snot on it :)
So i was left with these two bundles of joy all week wondering where the heck TBG had got to.... then ah-ha I knew he was due back as Twiggs was no longer cooking cabbage and broccoli but a proper meal and actually doing house work and making The Smelly one clear her stuff up.
Later than said and one burnt dinner ( probably tasted better) later.. TBG is home- HURRRAAAH ! mad wags and face licks all round- i know not very dignified but hey I was over come in case he'd brought me some duty free Bonios or summat... No nothing !!! No even one of those cool Rushski hats with the furry ear flaps... as well at least he's brought him self home to rescue me from a life of boredom with the mardy ones.. i LOVE YOU TBG x x xx

Make My Own NellieCache

As you may have gathered..I am not really too keen on this Nelliecaching thinghy they have been up to- by all means those two fools can go out on their bikes ( that reminds me Twiggs needs a new wide load sticker for her arse- I pity the poor road user stuck behind that mountainous glob of lard she calls her bottom)..
They drag me out saying " Ooooh look shes all excited and barky and happy, Oh look she wants to come.. no its more the fact I am happy they are going out and will leave this 45 MPH couch potato at home to snooze..the only time I get excited is when I know they are going to the beer church and I can snaffle for porky puffs etc.
So I do the whole running off and hiding at my bed looking at the wall - i don't have peripheral vison so if i cant see them they don't exist.. ITS NOT A GAME !!!! It means I dont want to go out and traipse for hours playing neardy hide and seek with a clown that hasnt written the clues down correctly- thus meaning lots of hanging about and bum faces from Twiggs.....

I have thought how ever of sneaking out and making my own Nellie Cache which involves a trip to local joke shop to buy some fake doggy do-do...( or I could just leave one of my own ( Like TBG does to bake off and form a skin) then be gluing this to a top of a Tupperware container and burying the container with just the do-do sticking out amongst some leaves... Hmmmmmmmmmm i wonder if anyone would ever find it ????