Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Enforced Doggy A. A

Not a happy hound at all........ My name sake Nel/ Helen/ Nanny Cheese has fallen and broken her shoulder ( she says she was sober- but you know it was lunch time and she had been shopping..and there was wine in those shopping bags!!!!! im not insinuating..just stating facts).. anyways my life has been thrown into doggy turmoil ... As Twiggs and Tbg are caring for is hetic to say the least TBG is staying with her and coming home for meals and clean washing etc- see twiggs ..HE IS TREATING THIS PLACE LIKE A HOTEL- Twiggs is cooking for her etc...anyway while they are running about after her I am not getting any cheese when I visit... as these two bozo's dont think to cut me any up... and she cant weld a knife at the I lay on her sofa willing her to go and open the fridge door so I can blooming well go and help myself before I slip into the crevices of her sofa never to be seen again as I am that skinny from lack of cheese .... They are not going to the beer church either due to looking after her...... so i havent seen land lady cheese for what feels like an bowls of pots of beer slops..ITS NOT FAIR...... They put my P.J's on as I am shivering as they think I am cold....yes I am cold... COLD TURKEY..... Just for your infromation I am home all day so if anyone wants to post me some cheese or a bottle of stout please feel free.

chuffin chuff chuff

Oh it seems I am in TBG's bad books.. he hasn't told me exactly..but I know, oh boy do i know about it alright...he seems to have adopted Twiggs bumface stance..what did I do.. nothing that's all.. or at least nothing I had control over anyway.
Tbg wlked me to the station to meet mardy pants Twiggs off the train or so I thought that was the plan, as I had just been fed, he had spent 30 mins staring vacantly into the fridge the another 30 minutes flicking through the tv channels at what Twiggs calls man saddo porn..... which I think means programs such as Hows its made, mythbusters etc and the Twiggs stomp outta the room all time favourite..only fools and horses... so it must have been Twigg's home off we trot towards the station when "Oh my " my tummy started rumbling and I knew I would have to make a Nellie doodle.. but of course I have to find the right spot even if my sphincter is contracting... IT HAS TO BE THE RIGHT SPOT......... so anyway, spot found, bowels emptied....... Old saddo picked it up again and put in a special bag..and off we trot very very fast... didn't understand what the hurry was, I thought maybe he needed a TBG doodle we were going that fast towards the station .............
I heard him mutter those rude rude words again.. but not in code like they use around the Albino Emo- proper rude words...
How was I to know that The Tornado... the first Steam train built in the modern day times was coming through the station and old sad pants wanted to cop a look at it... and all because "This Bloody Hound needed a pooh.. " he missed it ...just saw the back coaches going through the station... so its my fault now... and it didn't help that Twiggs saw it and told him he was a sad train spotting old git... next time I will hold it in and wait until the other train spotters are just about to take pictures and uncouple one of my own on the platform