I is a HOUND...................

Ok lets get this straight,
I am a dog, a canine, a hound , I go woof woof....

Then why do you call every thing else but ?

I am not........

A womble...... ( yes, I agree the noses are the same and yes I scan the floor for lost items & rubbish - admitingly only food items or things that may look edible)

A sloath.............. They dont sleep as much as me & are far more active

Emu......not the real big bird type, but that rather annoying puppety thing that used to live on Rod Hull's arm...... Ok when I am lay on you on the sofa and you stop stroking me, yes I may look up at you and try and ponk you in the face with my snozzle to get your attention...but I DONT HAVE FEATHERS.

A pig............... Im not pink, I dont smell...( well we all have accidents from time to time) and I dont go oink oink...I go Woff, Woof

A dinosaur: .....Yes I may lie still for long periods of time, but it doesnt mean that I am extinct or expired

A Contrary little madam ......dunno what that means.....but I dont do gardening and my name is not Mary ???????

A Pooh Monster : you put the food in my belly, I just recycle it...if you cant handle it change my diet..................

Dandy Daddy long legs : 10 outa 10 for observations on the ole long legs thing, its not as if you could miss em really, but im certainly no dandy ( have you actually sean where I live...ah-em..) And im not a boy so I cant be a daddy -

Emo Dog : Ok lets get this straight , I am not Emo at all, I cant help having a long face.....( weve had this conversation before) also i am not a hormonal, moody-nobody-loves-me teenagers, anyway every one loves me cos I am lovelly, I may turn my back on you , this is because I am tired and want to sleep and dont want you yacking and disturbing me.