Gift Wrap

Before you decide if I am guilty of the crime I am accused of please read the version of events leading up to that fateful day: Then you may judge if I am gulty of this crime or if indeed I was driven to it...................
Twiggs always buys people's gifts: She will spend weeks thinking of what to buy and then hunting for that gift, it may not always cost a lot but will hopefully be something for that person that they will like, then she will wrap it very carefully using nice bows etc and will also if she has the time hand make that person a nice card.
TBG , well all he has to if deliver the gift if it needs to be taken further that Twiggs can walk ( remember too lazy to learn to drive).......... well,
Twiggs had just done this and was awiting TBG to take the gift.........................when he got the tiime of course ( about 10 weeks)

This gift was not massive but big enough to catch my eye and being both a hound and a female, I am nosey .
It kept moving around the dining room, it would be on the table one day, by the computer the next day or on the ottoman fingymajiggy, where ever it wasnt in their way......
10 weeks it was moving about the room .
10 weeks they'd go off to work to earn my bone money and leave me alone with the parcel.
10 weeks ,every day the parcel would whisper to me. " Nellie, do you know whats inside all this glitzy wrapping...oh Nellie unwrap me, set me free Nellie.theres something yummy in here for you Nellie !!!!! "
IT WAS DRIVING ME SO MAD........like when you get an itch on the roof of your mouth or restless legs.
To my credit I did hold out for 10 weeks until I couldnt bear the agony of not knowing what was under that wrapping paper ............Then one day I was walking past the parcel when I must have accidently bumped into it causing it to fall on the floor, and not having any hands I couldnt pick it up............. I did ignore it then I noticed a corner of the paper had come unstuck, now Bluepeter was before my time so I didnt know how to use glue or sticky backed plastic so I licked it trying to stick it back down when I must have caught the sticky out bit in my teeth....and it ripped more................................................. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
Well this where everything spiralled out of control.
It just fell apart, there was nothing I could do, it just self destructed..." Boom ! " paper every where...OOOPPS !- I was lucky not to loose an eye or something !!!!!!
I tried to put it back on the ottoman fingymajiggy by picking it up in my teeth, which sadly resulted in the box looking like it had been gnawed.
I couldnt put it back so I just left it , I was feeling tired anyway.
Snooze
Snooze
Key in door..........................................................
Mad wag
Mad wag

" Bad Dog "

Run and hide on bed, of course I tried to hide, not because I was guilty of any thing, but I was being yelled at. It wasnt my fault that the stoopid parcel has blown up making a pretty confetti paper pattern all over the room and i've explained the teeth marks.
So am I guilty ? No ?
What crime am I guilty of ?
Am I bomb disposal ? No..........
TBG is guilty , he should have gotten the parcel to the person whose birthday it was on time and not leave hanging about to haunt me and get me into trouble.
I am innocent.