Sunday, 1 March 2009

Hold The Polish Please

I thought it a bit odd that both Tbg & Twiggs were taking me out for a walk together...considering Twiggs had just gotten in from work and normally is chained to the kitchen producing belly filling stuff the moment she gets through the door....
Even odder they took me in the general direction of the park ( OK maybe I led them that way and they didn't moan or berate me like usual)but hang on a moment..we walked straight past the entrance to the park....Hang on a cotton picking moment..we've just walked past the park........... Bugger.
This only means one thing................

THE VETS.......!

Duped heart sank as I mentally went through er..up to date........I felt really good no Ouchy bits or sore why was I going to the vets ???????????
I hate that smells really funny and all the animals in there are sick and I always worry as I may catch some sort of fatal slow killing/maiming disease from said sick a visit to the vets always without a doubt HURTS !!!!

I did the ole Tail between my legs thing...Tbg cuddled me thinking I was a scardeycat...what I was actually doing was trying to get my tail so far between my legs that it actually covered my mouth and nostrils so I wouldn't have to breathe in all those life threatening germs.( Mental note to self...must do tail stretching exercises................

Oh joy they call my name and I am very gently cajoled into a side room ( gently as in I am sure my claw marks are still embedded into that floor like big doggy tram-tracks).

Ah so it seems these very nice people who lodge with me have booked me in for a manicure..that's fantastic...I do manicures much better than injection or thermometers up my unmentionables !!!!!!!

Or I did do manicures

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it would seem that i have a few nails that have very long quiks
( the only thing that is quick about me these days)
And it so happened that the first nail to be cut was one of those and it bled.
And bled
And bled
And bled

The veterinary nurse was horrified....TBG tried to put her at ease..- ah-hem what about me..that's my life blood spilling on the floor and I feel ever so faint..
20 minutes I was stuck in that room with bits of wadding and bog roll stuck to my paw trying to stem the flow from where she had tried to amputate my paw.
Eventually to my horror she started to mummify my paw so I could walk home....My heart was thumping in case she made me put one of those big gay silver booties on it....If it came to a choice between wearing one of those home or being taken home by a pack of feral kittens dragging me by my tail..........Pass me the kitten food.

Thankfully no bootie was brought out.
I did have to walk home past all the rush hour traffic queues ..I could see people pointing to me looking sorry for me....So I just looked up at my evil lodgers just so folks would know that they did this to me and looked all doe eyed and sorry for my self.

I will have to learn how to bite my nails

1 comment:

Stella (given to me by the infidels) said...

Sweety I am so sorry you had to have a trip to the vet, wishing you well soon. I have enjoyed reading your blog, which is why I would like to share my Kreativ Blogger award with you. Details are on my blog.