Some people have got rather large mouths...and open it when no really cares what drivel is coming out..........especially when they are TALKING ABOUT ME !!!!!!!
Especially when they are calling me portly, rotund, heavy boned....FAT, FAT, FAT !
Yes you know who you are...... do you have no mirrors or scales in your own house...
( NO ???...I wonder why......... Lard arse)..The term Pot- Kettle-Black spring to mind
I am not Fat....I AM RETIRED.........
I am no where near the stage when I am looking at doggy pantie girdles...or little wheeled trolleys in which to transport this huge girth around !!!!
Yes "Mr OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH Thats a Fat greyhound you have there...! " I am more than aware that you have a million lurchers.... ( mongrels) there is a difference : you are a pikey and you poach ( yes I know you call them 'working dogs'- they are not working they are poaching..I used to work...hence earn money..hence I is now RETIRED)
Your poor dogs are out in all weathers, time of day etc chasing rabbits etc, etc..I know all about pikey poaching, lamping, ferreting- netting-etc etc ...Twiggs is part pikey and grew up with this sort of thing....any way your Lurchers are out every day chasing bobtails etc.... no doubt if I was let off the lead and ran round and round further than the confines of the park I would be the Kate moss/skeletor of the greyhound world......... but as I have already mentioned I am R-E-T-I-R-E-D...
I have managed to retain my figure and not gone to pot like Stallone...........
Put me next to twiggs ( Huge bum & thighs) or TBG and I am almost see through I am that skinny in comparison.
Any way thanks to you (" Captain Know it all about greyhounds weight) I am Now on a diet..... I am now also not very happy...they can stick carrots in my food... I wont digest them so they may as well cut out the middle man and save TBG from gagging and just wrap the carrots in a poop bag and throw them away..... My food has been cut back to the bare minimum ( apart from extra stinky veggies...which I will recycle and turn in room odour and share while they are having tea) and what little treats I did have are no more........................ The only thing I have to look forward to is my weekly trip to the beer church to see landlady cheese.....and a dish of cheese which I swear has shrunk in size...that dish did seem mightly small last time......... and trying to trip the Albino Emo up whilst she is carrying food from the kitchen.....
So if I look sad and forlorn..its not a Greyhound thing...Its a me I AM BLOOMING STARVING THING...........................so I will scavenge for food at every oppertunity and will disobey them and go in the kitchen and generally be a morsel monster... Until they give in
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