Learning to read

Oh no, oh, oh, no, yet again I find myself in the doghouse and ole bum face , giving me the " get on your bloomin bed and bloomin well bloomin bloomin stay there eyes eyes and big pinched lips....... and what have I done you may ask ? Oh yes just exactly what is it I am supposed to have done now ?... tell me is it such a crime to wish to better ones self / to wish to improve ones education, well I am telling you that it this house you would think it was a major crime.....

Ok now think back to the accident that I had with the present ...... similar sort of thing - remember if you would please, I dont have any fingers !!!!!!!!

Shannon had left a book on the ottomanwoodtypethingthatnoonesknowswhattocall, and the picture on the front looked ace, really really interesting, so I thought I would investigate and see if the were any more pictures inside.. couldnt see any piccies but lots and lots of big words, I got really really engrosed in this book- before you judge me, I mean it was interesting in an intullectual sort of way not a rip and tear way... OK !!!!
But oooo-oh i got absorbed buy this book and agian remember no fingers, my little nail must have caught one of the page whilst I was turning it and I accidently ripped it ( OH GOODNESS ME) so I tried the stickydown with my tounge thingy- which yes I will accept was very remiss of me after last time, but I was in a panic ( after all it was Shannons book and you know what they say - like mother like daughter, i didnt want a junior bumface looming over me also !!!! )
Yes yes ok so you can guess the rest, i accidently managed to rip the front cover and several pages off and then had to rip them into tiny tiny bits to try and eat the evidence- but i dont have much of an appetite for paper...so ha..ha ! brainwave Twiggs had brought a 3 pack of kitchen roll which she had put in the kitchen...maybe if I opened that and scattered that every where the teeth-in-the-book thing would go unoticed..Tried that...will admit the best fun I have had in yonks !!!!
Then I felt really really guilty and lay on bed ...tumming turning, -see I do know the difference between right and wrong -oh yes and also that accidents will happen..
Any how when Twiggs came home I barked and barked at her to try and distract her from the mess..........................didnt work.....................
Am currently lay on my bed deflecting evil death stares which keep coming way ( im not allowed to have my tea yet and i am hungry- next time I should remember to swallow the paper)