Camping in the camper van..........hhhmmmm.....nice big bed inside of camper..squishy and comfy..normally I jump in first coz Twiggs is faffing about with Gnat lotion or Gnat bite relief lotion, or counting her Gnat bites....TBG is normally up at the toilet block doing a TBG doodle ....... So firstly Twiggs moans at me cos I am lay in the middle, well excuse me I am a hound I dont know what a middle is, I just do Nellie comfy ..so the quilt is yanked away and I find myself sliding towards the window...then she hoiks her big bottom in taking all the quilt to cover it.
Then Tbg will come and take up more of my room and normally one of them will end up breaking wind and then blaming it on me......( as if )
Then one of them will snore...Twiggs does this weird breathing in and not exhailling thing..I wait with bated breath to see if she gonna breathe out or if shes dead....TBG just sounds like Mutley.
Then theres the starfish thing that Twiggs does - she says its due to siatica- I say its due to too many pies and chunky thighs, which ends up with me squished up by the steering wheel...and pardon me if i dare step outside of the 5 inches I am allocated, they fidget, grunt and smell.
2 whole nights I had to endure this, 2 whole nights : then we had the mother of all thunder storms and Albino Big brave " i like all things dark & scarey" Emo child didnt want to sleep on her own in her tent and Twiggs who really really hates storms volunteered to stay in tent with said emo...and ended up in there for the rest of the holiday.........partly as on that first night we had 6 storms one after the other and it didnt get much better after that......IT WAS FANTASTIC......... me and TBG camping out together..or more importantly me taking up twiggs side of the camper...ha ha ha, and I think TBG enjoyed sleeping with me more and I dont snore or smell as bad as Twiggs or hog the quilt ( much ! ).
Then twiggs is normally awake early due to having a weak bladder and a hike to the toilet block..and she would come and sit in the awning waiting for me and TBG to wake up...ha ha sucker...we'd leave her out there for an hour looking all sad and moonfaced...while we pretended to be alseep all snug....... well she chose to sleep in the tent..The camper is mine all mine......
A Message From The Shrew
2 years ago