Thursday, 4 September 2008

Sausage Tree

We have a sausage producing tree in our garden ...its great !!

May i remind you once more that no matter what these guys who live with me say, I do not have OCD , I am however a creature of habit.
That is unlike TBG who has to check hes locked the back door at least 8 times before he goes out......
As I said I am a hound, a creature of habit..so I cant see what their problem is ?
At the end of the garden- I use the term garden loosly..as 2 strides and its all over for me..we do have two very large and over grown conifers at the bottom, and typical of a mid terrace all the gardens are side to side with low fences ( apart from ours which have been Nellified- to stop me vaulting over them ).
Next door but one is a rented house and although they are no bother ( apart from them playing the drums in their cellar which made the floor boards shake like billy-o- I scarpered unsure if it was an earthquake or Twiggs trying to do aerobics again, both of which are equally terrifying...
TBG soon put a stop to that......)
They do how ever seem to like animals as they have a dog that I have never seen, but boy have I heard it...all day long bark bark bark !!!! I suppose its understandible really as they have 4 adult cats and 12 kittens/young cats.
About 2 weeks ago while I was in the garden producing a mighty fine Nellie doodle I had this horrible feeling I wasnt alone....I looked up and CHRISTMAS !!!
7 pairs of young feline eyes sat on the fence watching me..well I ran up and down tried to break the fence down in my need to play with them..I showed my teeth, I barked till I was hoarse..What did they do ?
They all ran away apart from the Ginger one who ran up one of the conifers.
Ole bumface soon rushed out to see what all the fuss was about and as they had all done a runner by then, I looked like a loon dancing under the tree.
I was told off and made to go indoors to bed and was chastised for thinking the phantom squirrel was up the tree - now i know it wasnt him as hes gone on vacation for a wee while.
Now at every oppertunity I get i am straight up the garden standing guard under that tree waiting for that pesky cat to get tired and fall into my mouth.
Now yes I am aware thats its been 2 weeks and that he would have fallen out by now...but you never know...also one good thing as I am a hound and choose not to answer to my name unless there is food involved, they have taken to keeping bits of sausage in the magic white thing they call a fridge........So,
I run out side
I stand under the tree
I look either all sad and forlorn or have my space hopper ears on.
They call me in,
I ignore them
They call again
I ignore them again
( repeat by 10)
I hear the magic white thing open
I smell sausages
I then come in...............
I eat sausage

1 comment:

Stella (given to me by the infidels) said...

All peasant cats must be annihilated, they are disgusting. Oh what glee to have so many of them just next door, the assassination opportunities that present themselves must be numerous.

Perhaps when I finally escape this infidel hell I will come and visit you. I like the sound of the sausage tree although I am not permitted to eat pork so they would have to be beef or something equally tasty.

Keep a vigil under that tree, cats are subordinates and must not be tolerated under any circumstances. You may entertain yourself by toying with them but ultimately they must be dispatched.

Love Stella (yes the name is rather ridiculous but you know these infidels they are no more than buffoons!)