Friday, 12 December 2008

Evil Jack Frost

"Oh look its all white and frosty out side..... ooh its all crispy and white..............." Really are not words that inspire me to rouse my furry back side off my big warm snuggilly bed and go for a long long romp ..
Its a shame that TBG cant see that I am laying in bed pretending to be dead FOR A REASON while they all zip and boot up....and its not until my bed ( with little ole mesome)is dragged in to the middle of the room and pulled rudely from underneath me and I am collared up as I fall from my bed ..that I accept grudingly that my fate is a really long walk in the really really cold...
Great they have hats on, they have gloves on, they have scarves on..( ok apart from the Albino emo one...coz its really like uncool and someone see knows may see her and think she really like ummmm un- cool ( actually she's really to the point of freezing)..I have my coat hat no gloves, no scarf...Twiggs used to put a scarf on me but TBG wasnt to keen......what about leg warmers ?..have you seen the length of my legs ?...Actually I would like a giant nellie snuggy romper suit..but like a giant electric blankie........oh lovelly..........( not a knitted one though..have you seen wool when its wet ???? a bit of drizzle, my body weight would quadruple and i'd never get Twiggs would probally vomit..( she has this squeeky wet wool phobia thing going on)
Anyway off we lagging behind with the Albino emo who really doesnt want to be out walking any more than I do.........
Its not too bad once we get to the woods its really rather plesant really...I have to time having a nellie-doodle just right..not too far from the entrance so when I have to do a Urban curry they still have to pick it up but just that too far from the litter bins so they either have to walk back to it or carry it around with them.... At this point I choose NOT to walk with the Albino emo one as with the size of her feet and the fact she is always dragging them she has a tendancy to fall over a lot..and as there is mud and some parts are slippy I walk with I dont want her to slip over and land on me or Twiggs to wee on me with her week middle age womans bladder when she is laughing at Albino emo for falling over...TBG is the safest bet by far.
So ok I will admit the walky-walk-walk bit around the woods is good as there are squirrels ( real visable ones, which are distant cousins to the phantom one that lives with us and humans cant see)... I am not allowed to chase I do the greyhound space hopper radar ear killer thing..where I pretend my ears are radars which emit a death anhillate all squirrels... !!!!!!
I just hate the thought of going out ( unless i know they are going to town or to those horrible places where hounds are not allowed in ..then I demand to be taken..ha ha) I am not agraphobic at all... I is just a hound......

No comments: