Monday, 15 December 2008


Ah-hem...when I am lay on it my all...legs a flapping..this means I need my belly rubbed...not just a quick pat...Im talking a serious no less than 10 minute belly-full-on attention..... If however during this time I start to cough and splutter...this means..
I am in danger of swallowing my tounge as I forgotten to loll it out and stick it to the carpet.
I am also aware of two things...
1) Do I get up and to uncurl my tounge from my avaoid choking to death ?
2)Do I just lay there in tummy heaven...choking ?

Ok so the answer is normally 2

So in case this senario should happen again please do the following

1) Stop stoking ( we can always carry on where we left off later
2) Make me stand up ( Even if you have to pick me up -or bribe with a sausage....actually just bribe me - I have no pride)
3) Pat my back - remember I said pat not whack or thump
4) Failing that put your fingers in mouth and uncurl my the best method is to make sure you have a large block of cheese between your fingers..this will entice the tounge back up.........

Under no circumstances must you laugh or imply that I am a retard.....this will result me being very unhappy and distubed in fact I will lose control of my bladder by the back door while you are asleep..............

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