Monday, 14 July 2008

Sleep walking sausage snaffler

I was doing what I do best...acting as a giant draught excluder, sprawled out along the dining room floor catching up on some z's...The next thing I know I am being yelled at in the " you've been a very very bad doggy sorta way"....... I nearly jumped outa my skin...!!!!!! What has I done now.. ?
Tbg says that I ate the sausages..( what sausages ?)
Tbg says that Twiggs had cooked them and left them on the side to cool so TBG & Shannon could have them cold the next day...bit silly leaving them on the side if you ask me, even if they were pushed right to back of the work surface..I am a canine Giraffe.I can reach where other pooches cannot- Disclaimer, I say I CAN reach, but choose not to as I am a good doggy and do not steal food..OK !!)
Any way TBG says that he heard a noise then it went quiet, then he heard a noise again...and he says he caught me up at the work surface with said banger in my chops , caught in the act of sausage snaffling.....he says that I hadnt eaten them all, but was in the process of slowly and quietly removing them one by one taking them into the dining room and Nom nom nomming them.... now I say If I was doing it I must have been so far into the land of nod...the aroma of cooling pigs lips & arses and offal must have triggered some thing in my subconcious...and I WAS DOING IT IN MY SLEEP........honest I wouldnt steal food , not when I can do the "sad hungry feed me im starving eye thing" also in my defense do you honestly think i could either be quite so sneaky or have enough restraint to take them one by one...No way ! If I was guilty I would have just gone the whole hog and and chobbled them all at once before I was stopped and risked leaving any in the dish...and probally would have broken the dish at the same time ( hey if you are gonna get yelled at you may as well give them a real valid excuse to send you to your bed ( punnishment- sent to my bed ???- oh yeah thats really really punnishment )
So do you believe me ? I was asleep...any way, given a choice- that is if I was awake at the time the crime as such took place: I wouldnt have eaten their sausages as they were Chilli sausages and I know what happens the next day when Ive had too much protein- and now I know what happens if I eat chillied foods- urban curry, but a stingy Nellie doodle bottom and Twiggs doing a chicken dance while scooping it up ( heaving aplenty)..............................
I was asleep honest.....................

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