Stop Milking It

Twiggs had dissapeared for a few days...didnt know where she had gone ? All I knew was that suddenly TBG & The Albino Emo were suddendly eating much nicer food then dissapearing to " Visit ?" in the evenings....
Then Twiggs came home hurrah..turns out she had been held captive in this big building surrounded by a massive car park..I know this as I went in the VW Camper to pick her up when the realeased her...... well she still looked the same, a bit frailer and she sure smelt funny..but it was still Twiggs..
We got her hiome and I really dont know if they have been giving her injections of the Greyhound gene but boy oh boy she sure slept a lot, she slept more than me..which takes some beating !!!!
We had lots of cuddles on the sofa as thats all she did was lay on the sofa with a big blankie over her, which I managed to weedle my way under many times and have a hug and a much with the feeble one....
Talk about role reversal..Twiggs sat on her big fat bum all day while TBG hoovered ( well in a fashion) and cooked all the meals and picked up all the Nellie Doodles I left in the garden..he did the washing....The ironing..well that pile got so big I was a wee bit concerned that if it toppled over on me it would suffocate me .
Nanny Glen came to visit and did all the ironing..then the next lot TBG tried his best until Twiggs offered to pay The Albino Emo to do it all......that was fun to watch !!!!!!
Well 6 weeks on the novelty is wearing off as she is still at home interupting my sleep patterns, clattering about in the kitchen...to which of course I just have to go and investigate..just in case something should happen to fall into my food bowl....How is a hound supposed to sleep 24/7 with her making a noise ?????
And the worst of it is ...she keeps taking me out for walks..as walking is good for her they say.....yes for her maybe, not for me......
As much as I love her I do wish she would go back to work or go shopping or anything to leave me alone to sleep...........

Statues

Ha ha..I have discovered a new game..its called Statues...here's how I play it ...... Twiggs took me for a walk once again I had been duped into thinking it was the park we were going to... ( oooh how this hound really should have learnt her lesson by now !!!! ) anyhoooo it was a beautiful morning and off we went..heading in the direction of the park, all the little school children were about being ferried to school by harassed parents...we crossed the road by the lights and the nice crossing lady patted my head, life was good, was good that is until we walked past the entrance to the park....my heart sank, I looked up at Twiggs who had her " Oh don't worry Nellie were not going to the VETS were having a long walk face on " I kept looking back towards to park to no avail.
I figured I wasn't in pain, I hadn't hurt myself..so that meant only one thing..BOOSTER SHOTS !!!!..well sod that I thought and when Twiggs tried to cross the road...I just stood there like a statue refusing to move in any direction apart from back home........ now I know Twiggs does love me and wont yank at my collar...so she walked me up the road a bit then crossed over....so the next road we got to I did the ole statue thing again..Twiggs was actually pleading with me whilst adopting her famous BUM FACE look..... again she walked up the street and then crossed over and tried to fool me by bringing me the back way into the vets....Ok so I may be one Bonio short of a a packet but I'm not as stupid as I am furry looking...no way...I just put the anchors on and refused to move full stop.....
I was then dragged around the corner...Hurrah I thought I have won , she's given up Oh how stupid can I be, too busy gloating to myself I didn't realise she has brought me around to the main door..........
Mega paralyse...I wasn't playing statues..I couldn't move..I could even look at that door..If I didnt look at the door, then it didn't exist and this wasn't happening to me. The two vet nurses were stood behind the counter with the two receptionist, one of the vet nurses being Emma from next door and they were laughing at Twiggs.....( she had already had all the little school kids and commuters in cars laughing at her already that morning )...Twiggs couldn't pick me up due to the operation she had not long had...then drat......Emma the toe nail lopper came out and put her hands under my mighty fine belly and rudely hoisted me inside.... Great No escape at all now.
I just stood there with the biggest saddest face on looking out of the door with my back to everyone...Then the vet came out and Twiggs led while he pushed my backside into his little room of doggy torture !!!!!!!!
I was poked and prodded ...he even stuck that dreaded needle in me...I was weighed..I really really didnt like Twiggs very much at this point and vowed to eat nasty stuff and leave her a nice big pressie by the back door one morning soon.....