Cats NOM NOM NOM..........

Next doors cat is a pian in the Doggy butt !!!

It sits on the wall goading me, it constantly poops in the garden the moment my back is turned and it hulks its big fat furry body along the fence like some obese fat feline tight rope walker...........Then it waits until my hackles have risen and I charge into the garden barking until a) I'm hoarse or b) until I am yelled at then it runs off sniggering slyly the way cats do.

Well enough is enough.

The fat little freak didnt realise I was watching it recycling its Kitty Kat onto our yard when I bolted out side......

" Yeah-ha....!! " Direct hit .....teeth made contact with fatsos plump backside...furr makes a great sound when being yanked out.................. ( so does chunky-cat !)

Result !!!!!!

Cat minus fur and one of its lives, me all smug and happy, admitingly with vile fluffy kitty fur in between my teeth......................

Mind you the monster is still pooping the garden............. when I get hold of it next time it will be an involuntry bowl excavation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stair Gate

We have a baby stair gate in our house......this is to stop me from going up the stairs so they say..
Now why would I wish to break my legs going up those really really steep stairs ?
Reasons not to go up stairs !!!!
1) Shannon lives up there, with her loud music going thump thump thump ..... how would I sleep with that racket going on ?
2) Twiggs gets changed up stairs, now ive seen her in her under ware and its not really some thing I would like to view on a daily basis, gosh i'd never sleep with images like that in my head !
3) The bath room /toilet is up there and ive smelt what the TBG has delt.. enough said..
4) The kitchen is down here
5) food is down here
6) The t.v is down here
7) My bed/sofa are down here.
8) Next doors cat is in the garden ( sometimes) down here.
Reasons to Go up stairs
1) when twiggs brings them breckie in bed
2) The big bed up there......( mind you I'd have to scrap that idea as Twiggs sleeps like a star fish and I cant imagine i'd have too much room......
So thats one reason.........
So they may as well take the stair gate off as I have no desire to go up there really..mind its funny to watch twiggs struggle through it with the hoover, so may be they should leave it for now..........

I hate Balloons

Ha ha very funny : TBG had a birthday and Twiggs blew up the balloons, now bearing in mind I was brought up in kennels and not a childrens tea party : Hence I dont know what balloons are !!!!!!!
Oh yes its fun to wiggle these big brightly coloured orb things in my face and wind me up like a clock work mouse !!!!!
And you seem to think its funny to let me play with them and giggle your heads off wincing ,waiting for that almighty pop and watching me jump out of my bloomin skin...wondering what the blooming hell had just happened
" Oh my goodness my toy has just exploded !!!!" me thought...actually it was more like " WTF !!!!...run hide shake"
Ok you have had your fun...I gather you had fun by the fact TBG was on his knees howling with laughter and Twiggs had tears and snot running down her face and was doing the shoulders going up and down...Im laughing so hard Im forgetting to breath type laughter !!!
Remember revenge is sweet and I have all day to lay on my bed thinking about it.................

Sleep Over

Ellie-pup has come for a sleep over !!!! No one told me.... I think these folks were a bit worried how I would be as Ive not been that great lately ( been a bit shy )

Mr O's car pulled up and he got out and I was so excited as my bestest friend had come ( Ellie pup not Mr O...although he is pretty cool himself ! ) to play....

It was great to see her, she doesnt limp so much now since herlumpybumpyremoval op. She was looking good for someone of her years- Mrs O says Ellie pups not old..and we get told off if we call her old.... and Mrs O gives us THE LOOK which is a sterner version of THE BUMFACE.....
We had a great time : We walked Ellie up to the woods and all around them , where she jumped in the water and became SWAMPY DONKEY, I was lurred into the water, which only came up to my ankles..............which in Ellies case is nearly submerged due to her lack of stature.
We also took Ellie on her first train ride ( On a proper steam train -yawn, yawn)..she did well, I am so very glad she didnt hang out of the window like she does in the car !!!!!! ( or that Mr O didnt also)
We had a long long walk along the river, which was I note a grumpy 4 miles....... me and Ellie vote to stay at home next time...we will look after the house and keep the beds warm.
It was great to have a sleep over and see every one again...even if it was tiring..and Ellie pup got bitten by a beastie in the woods...and went All John Merrick for a couple of days....
Please come back soon, I miss you all x x x x x xx

Making Nom noms

We made some nom noms at home : much better than shop brought ones and much much more fun too !!!!!!!!
As soon as Twiggs open the packet I could smell something and had to bound into the kitchen to assist Shannon and Twiggs with the baking !!! You have to bear in mind the kitchen is long and narrow and theres not a great deal of room...but they soon moved up and made room for me.. must have been my cute appealing eyes, nothing at all to do with me nudging them at all ...!!!!!
It was great Shannon couldnt lick the bowl out..mind you given half the chance I think she would have " Done a Nellie" :i.e had a crafty lick when no one was looking !!!
There was flour every where and Shannon wery kindly let me stir the mix with my big sloppy tounge..and she let me lick the mix off her fingers ( ah-hem ...sorry about nibbling your fingers Shannon..but it was sooooooo nommy !) Shannon you rock !!!!!!! Even if Twiggs was being a grump muttering on about raw mix being bad for my belly- now thats just selfish, its fine for my belly thank you very much; its just not fine for you to be scooping up urban curry the next day ( urban curry so Mr O tells me is the same as a nellie Doodle or dog toffee, but runny....... the sort you see in the streets after you have slipped in it !!).
20 minutes of angony followed while the house was filled with the delicous aroma of doggy biscuits..... yes Twiggs I am aware that the oven is a hot-burny place but they are my cookis and if I want to stand in front of the door with my nose getting hotter pressing up against the glass..I will- well we dont want the phantom squirrel coming in and whisking them away while I am not looking !!!!!!
Then I had to wait while they cooled...ha ha ha very funny: they had made Nellie Doodle shaped ones too....I am not complaining..they are lovelly but Twiggs tells me they are to be rationed too...i will have to tell her to check the shelf life on them !!!!
Yum yum !